In John 4, Jesus initiates a conversation with a Samaritan
woman at a well by asking her for a drink of water. The text tells us in the 6th
verse that it was about the 6th hour—noon. This is the hottest time
of the day. This woman is coming to the well to draw water by herself in a
culture where women tend to go to draw water early in the morning to avoid the
heat. She clearly wants to be left alone.
It is no wonder that when Jesus’ reaches out to her, she
pushes back. She is skeptical of Him and for very real reasons. Her response in
verse 9 is effectively, “why are you talking to me? You’re not supposed to be
talking to me (my translation).”
The text also explicitly informs readers that Jews and
Samaritans did not associate. Samaritans were seen by Jews to be half-breeds
(used here in an intentionally derogatory sense) because they were not fully
Jewish but rather multi-racial in being mixed—for this reason, they were looked
down as racially inferior. Tensions between Jews and Samaritans abounded. In
fact, Jews often deliberately avoided traveling through Samaria purposefully
taking a longer route around the town just to avoid interacting with
Samaritans. The woman at the well would have automatically recognized Jesus to
be Jewish by His clothing, so the woman’s reaction to Jesus makes sense. For
both cultural and personal reasons, her defenses are up. She resists conversing
with Him and attempts to push Him away.
Jesus perceives her resistance to
Him but yet He persists and insists on conversing with her. Jesus is not afraid
of her walls—her defensiveness. Beyond her guardedness, He sees her and is
inviting her to see Him and to know Him.
Jesus responds, “If you knew the
gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him
and He would have given you Living Water.”
Here, Jesus is saying, “if only you truly knew and truly recognized who I truly
am, you would know that I am offering you something so much greater than you
could possibly ever even imagine.”
Again, the woman’s response is a pushback. She is somewhat
defensive and skeptical when she says, “Sir, you have nothing to draw with and
the well is deep. Where can you get this living water…?”
The way that I hear this exchange and what it may sound like
today is: “Look man, are you for real? You don’t even have a bucket or anything
to draw water with. And who do you even think you are to be making these kinds
of offers? Are you greater than Jacob? Please you’re nothing special…go
somewhere (my translation).”
And even though she is still pushing him away, Jesus does not
let up. Although she is skeptical as to whether He genuinely has anything to
offer her and is questioning whether He is just bluffing, even calling His
character into question, her demeanor does not intimidate Jesus. He refuses to
be put off and He does not become defensive. He remains gentle and confident in
His offer. He insists that the water that she is currently drinking is
inadequate to really deeply quench her thirst and satisfy her. He is certain
that the water that He is offering her will not just fulfill her, but it will
become an eternally life-giving spring. Talk about quenching a thirst! I
promise sprite has nothing on this.
So maybe now, from her response, the woman is thinking, “Man,
this man is really persistent. Okay, bet, well, if this water is as good as he
says it is and he insists on giving it out for free, I may as well get some so
that I don’t have to get thirsty or have to keep coming to the well to get
water (my translation).”
After all, she is probably tired of having to come to the
well at noon just to avoid people and if she gets ahold of this living water,
she can just avoid them altogether. It sounds like a good deal to her so now
she’s down.
And yet, she is still missing out on what Jesus is saying.
Jesus is talking about something much greater than physical water and so much
deeper than she can comprehend.
During this time, a woman couldn’t have entered into an
agreement without her husband present. Jesus tells her to go call her husband.
And with that one question, it is clear that Jesus has hit a soft spot. She
responds that she has no husband, but she is not being fully forthright.
But Jesus being Jesus and knowing the truth even when we
aren’t willing or ready to admit to the truth exposes her. He responds in verse
18, “You are right…the fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now
have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true.”
In this moment, Jesus exposes this woman’s source of shame.
Anyone who has had 5 husbands in our day would be sure to be gossiped about,
looked down upon, and an outcast. Now imagine what it may have meant over 2,000
years ago for a woman to have had 5 husbands and to be currently living with a
man that’s not her husband. Imagine the names that this woman must have been
called and the stigma that must have been attached to her. It’s likely that few
people wanted to be associated with her. And imagine going places knowing that
everyone is whispering about you. No wonder she is coming to the well at the
hottest time of day. She is marginalized—people don’t want anything to do with
her. And it’s no wonder that she is defensive, she is probably tired of people
judging her and thinking that they know her so she, in turn, rejects them as
well.
But then there’s Jesus. Jesus who refuses to let any amount
of stigma, shame, sin, cultural boundaries, or even her own guardedness to keep
Him from pursing a relationship a relationship with her or to keep her from
knowing him. Imagine, this whole time, Jesus has known her secret, but still
refused to be deterred from knowing her.
After Jesus exposes her, she does what so many of us are
prone to do when someone brings up a subject that makes us uncomfortable—she
changes the subject. She acknowledges that Jesus is a prophet, after all, how
would He know what He knew? But instead of talking about herself and engaging
with what Jesus has just revealed, she instead begins to talk about religious
matters, specifically, what appears to be a disagreement between Jews and
Samaritans about the appropriate place to worship. Notice for her how this
conversation still goes back to the division between Jews and Samaritans.
Notice how perhaps she is using this information lowkey to put up another
barrier between her and Jesus and to push Him away.
Jesus still is not deterred. His response is that it is not
about where you worship—physical location, it’s about how you worship. In verse
23 Jesus is seeking to take her deeper in her understanding to show her that “true
worshippers, the kind that the Father is seeking, will worship in Spirit and in
Truth. This is what God has always been interested in: our hearts. God is
looking for a people who are pursuing Him with their hearts, seeking to know
Him more, to seek His face and get caught up in His presence—people who are
genuinely desiring Him and wanting to know His truth.
Again, the woman does not agree or immediately engage with
Jesus. She is not yet willing to concede that He is right. And in turn, she is
not willing to admit that she may be wrong. Instead, she says that when the Messiah
comes, He will be the one to explain everything and finally set the record
straight. And to her surprise, Jesus reveals that He is indeed the Messiah.
This is the first person in the gospel of John to whom Jesus
is reported to have disclosed his identity: a marginalized woman.
This whole time, unknowingly, this woman has been talking to
the Messiah. He is the one who everyone has been waiting on and He chooses to
reveal Himself to her—someone who others may have thought to be the least
deserving of such a great revelation. But Jesus does not care much for making
decision based on what other expect about him or what others will think of him.
Jesus is not seeking to please anyone but his Heavenly Father.
In revealing himself to her, Jesus is saying that “I am the
living water that you have been searching for. You’ve been looking for
fulfillment in all of the wrong places, in your numerous relationships, and
you’ve been coming up short, but if you search for fulfillment in me, you will
know true satisfaction and wholeness.”
Jesus does not allow her past or even her current sinful
situation to keep her from knowing Him. In fact, He probably recognizes that the
underlying motivation for her sinful actions is the pursuit of fulfillment with
the hope that these things or relationships would make her whole—but true
wholeness is found in Him. This life pattern of broken relationship after
broken relationship is what she knew and what she came to accept for herself
but Jesus is offering her something different. In revealing Himself to her,
Jesus offers her a new and restored identity not in what she’s done or who she
was but in Him. In verses 39-42, we are told that this woman shares her
testimony with people from her town and many come to believe because of her.
Shout out to Jesus for first using a woman to preach His gospel. No longer will
she be the talk of the town for her relational history, from hence forward she’ll
be the woman who brought the town to know the Messiah.
I think that so many of us are like this woman in so many
ways in seeking fulfillment in things other than God be it relationships,
money, status, or anything other than God. But I’m going to use this
opportunity to speak specifically about hook-up culture and sexual sin. There
is a current water that so many of us are drinking that says sexual freedom and
liberation is found in the choice to do what you please with whoever you please
as long as it’s consensual.
So when Jesus, or Christians carrying His teachings, come
along with an alternative view point it seems outdated and oppressive, so we,
like the woman, resist Jesus in refusing to believe that He actually has something
to offer us. We wonder if He has come to just impose some religious teaching on
us and to force us to submit to antiquated rules and regulations. And of
course, we don’t want anyone to impose anything on us because we just want to
be free to do as we please. But this isn’t what Jesus is doing at all. Jesus is
a gentleman, He never forces Himself on us or anyone else, instead He comes to
offer us true and deep soul fulfillment in Him. He realizes that the water that
we are drinking now is stale and leaves us thirsty, but He has come to quench
our thirst in offering us living water in Him.
In her Everyday Feminism article, “3 Reasons Why Sex-Positivity Without Critical Analysis is Harmful,” Melissa Fabello critiques
sex-positivity. She encourages her readers to think critically about sex
positivity and to not fall into the trap of “carelessly labeling everything
(everything being all free and open engagements in sex acts) an example of
liberation.” Her first point is that “we don’t make decisions in a vacuum.” She
seeks to persuade readers to think through the ways in which our “socialization
affects the choices that we make.” Part of her purpose for writing, as stated
in her third point, is to question where “we draw the line between what is
authentically liberating and what is just sexism presented in a shiny new
package.”
I completely agree that critical thought is absolutely
necessary. To be clear, lest I mislead anyone, Fabello is not making her
argument from a standpoint of faith. And still, again, her challenge to think
critically about what true liberation means, be it sexual or not, is an
extremely important one.
I
would like to harp on her point that we do not make decisions in a vacuum.
Included in the reality that our socialization affects the choices that we make
is the reality that our pursuit for sexual relations are often much deeper than
merely the pursuit of pleasure. How do these underlying motivations affection
our understanding of liberation? For example:
If
you’re having sex with a wo/man as a means to affection in the hope that s/he
will want to date you, commit to you or love you, then are you really
liberated?
If
you’re having sex with anyone as a means of comfort or cure to your loneliness
but still end up feeling lonely afterwards, are you really liberated?
If
you’re having sex or hooking up because the idea of someone wanting to have sex
with you makes you feel better about yourself and more attractive, are you not
basing your worth in your sex appeal, and are you really liberated?
If
you’re having sex because of societal pressures and the need to prove to others
how conscious, enlightened, progressive and liberated you are really are, but
still somehow feel like crap afterwards, isn’t that just as bad as abstaining
because of societal pressure to be a virgin or celibate? Aren’t you still
merely making a decision from societal pressure and not genuine choice? Does
this make you liberated? (Sidenote: God
is not interested in you abstaining from sex until marriage for mere
religiosity’s sake, He’s interested in you waiting from the deep and genuine
believe that what He has for you and His vision of sex is more precious and
beautiful than you can ever imagine and that this vision flourishes in the
context of marriage. Prudish teachings that make us ashamed of sex and
sexuality come more from religiosity than anything else. God is not afraid or
ashamed of sex, He created it to be beautiful for a purpose, a context, and for
His glory.)
If
you’re having sex or hooking-up casually and feel good in the moment but end up
feeling empty and hollow the following day because even though you’re told that
you’re free, you still somehow can’t escape the weight of your conscience
telling you that something is not right about casually offering your body to
someone else but you ignore your conscience and chalk this feeling up to
antiquated religious teachings instead of realizing that maybe God is trying to
tell you something only to do it again and to come up feeling empty again, are
you truly liberated?
If none of these may apply to you, that’s great, I am happy
for you. This is for people who are ready and willing to be real with
themselves in acknowledging that one of their main underlying desires in
pursuing sex and relationships is the hope for fulfillment and the desire but
yet you still feel like your coming up short, maybe it is also time to
acknowledge the reality that so many of us are aware of the reality that we
carry a God-sized void in our hearts that worldly pleasures, be it sex,
relationships, money, status, or anything other than God, though they may feel
good temporarily, are just inadequate to fulfill you. Again, if you don’t feel
this way, then this isn’t for you. However, if you do feel this way and you’re
tired of the thirst, if you’re ready to face this reality, maybe it’s time to
let God fill this void in accepting Christ’s living waters that never run dry. And just like with the woman at the well, Jesus will not allow where you've been or what you've done to keep you from knowing Him and His healing waters and love. He took care of all of that on the cross.
I’ve heard it said that sin is an attempt to fulfill a
legitimate desire through an illegitimate means. I believe that there is a lot
of truth to that statement. I’ve really struggled with lust before and in my
faith walk. I tried to not be consumed by my lust but it just seemed to have a
hold of me. Based on everything that I learned growing up from what I read and
the things confirmed in popular media, I came to believe that the height of
intimacy was in romantic and sexual relations. My lust problems weren’t just
because I was hormonal, they were fueled by the rejection and abandonment that
I experienced from a young age and actually rooted in a deep longing for
intimacy, love, and affection. In my faith walk, God has been showing me that
not only is He a Father who loves and cares for me deeply, and always has since
I was younger, but He was also showing Jesus to be my eternal bridegroom and
the lover of my soul. As God was teaching me that the height of intimacy is not
in sex, romance, or marriage, as I had for so longed believed, but rather it is
in knowing and loving Him and receiving His love for me, I received a new found
level of freedom from lust and freedom in Him. It felt like Jesus’ living
waters were springing up, washing over me, making me new in Him, and drawing me
in. It got to the point where I didn’t even want to lust over anyone because
all I wanted was to soak in the presence and bask in the adoration of the God
who loves and cares for me more deeply and intimately than I had ever imagined.
My heart and soul felt so full.
When I find myself falling into sin patterns or taking up
idols that God has already freed me from, I have to ask, what are my real
motivations for my actions beyond my brokenness, where am I putting my hope and
seeking to gain fulfillment? Then I repent, and I ask God for the grace to help
turn my wandering heart back to Him to drink from His living waters that I may
know true wholeness.